I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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