Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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