did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
