if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
