Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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