He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize