Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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