Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
