Whats the glycemic index on semen?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
