Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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