What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
