fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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