And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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