The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
