she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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