mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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