so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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