if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
do herpes really smell.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
