She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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