Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize