"it" just moved
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
