I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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