This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
