Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
