Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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