As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
