I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize