If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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