his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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