I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
