Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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