Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
