Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
