i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
