just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize