id be glad to
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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