i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
