I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just want nice things and good sex
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
