i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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