This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
