last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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