I wish I could teleport
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
