I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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