how can u be prego again
thus making me awesome and them whores
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
