I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
