i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
