champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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