My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
