I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
