I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
