yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
