Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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