This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
