she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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