party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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