She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
