but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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