You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
