That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
