Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
