im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
