Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
