If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
