remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
