They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
