for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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