I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize