My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
This house was built for laser tag.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
