Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
