Michael Bay diarrhea
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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