I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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